10 absolutely vital stories the media wants me to follow.

Whose baby bump is most fabulous?
What’s Brittney doing right now?
Has Amy Winehouse been arrested?  Come down with a new disease?  Checked into and/or out of rehab?
What are the girls on The Hills really like.  I bet they’re really nice.
Has Jennifer Love Hewitt lost weight in her butt?
What’s up with Beyonce and JayZ?  Are they happy?  [...]